


Southtopia: A Zootopia/South Park Crossover. PART ONE

by Pancake094



Category: South Park, Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Experiment gone wrong, Gen, Portals, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 11:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10555638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pancake094/pseuds/Pancake094
Summary: When two worlds collide, who knows what's in store for everyone involved? What if they seem to be opposites? Find out how this all starts in Part One of this epic saga!





	

Southtopia

 

ZOOTOPIA:

ZPD Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde find themselves once again seated at the front of the bullpen for roll call on a warm and sunny day. They wait for Chief Bogo to give them an assignment for the day. Odds are, it won’t be anything like the missing mammals case about a year back, but whatever it is, it shall be their duty to complete. To pass the time, they make small talk with each other, talking about their respective families and trivial lives and such.

SOUTH PARK:  
Elementary school students Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Butters Stoch, and Eric Cartman find themselves once again seated at their desks on a cold and wintry day. They wait for their teacher to give them their instruction for the day. It will probably culminate into another insane journey for the boys, but it shall be their duty to try to complete. To pass the time, they make profane talk with each other, with Kenny talking on and on about women with large breasts and tight anatomies through the parka that muffles his voice.

ZOOTOPIA:  
Chief Bogo strides into the room, standing tall and watching over the chattering men and women of the force with an authority like no other. Today, however, a look of excitement mixes itself with his usual rough-and-tumble veneer, and Benjamin Clawhauser, the cheetah from the front reception desk, is following him in with a wide smile on his face.  
“Officers, take your seats!” he commands, and everybody does just that, including Judy and Nick.  
“Now that I have your attention, here are our headlines for the day,” he continues before giving a small pause. “There are a few new cadets on our force today, and…..Clawhauser’s birthday is today, and…..” The members of the force lean forward in their seats a bit, trying to prepare for a response.  
“GAZELLE IS HAVING US ALL OVER AT HER MANSION!!” Clawhauser finally shouts, unable to contain his excitement any longer. Judy and Nick, along with the other officers in the room, flinch back at this sudden outburst from the one who was aside from the one who first took their attention.  
Chief Bogo pauses for a moment more.  
“....Yes, that is correct, Clawhauser. Happy Birthday to us-I mean, you,” he finally says before clearing his throat. “However, we must inform you that this isn’t a day of leisure at some concert. She has explicitly given out that the matters that she would need us for are serious. She claimed that it’s some sort of advancement in the progress of mammalkind, but she has not told us what that is, exactly.”  
“Maybe she wants to surprise us,” Nick Wilde says with a sly grin, “Or maybe just you, Chief.” Everybody else in the room gives a slight chuckle, except Chief Bogo, who bears a look of embarrassment.

SOUTH PARK:  
PC Principal enters the classroom, looking over the students of his school with an intimidating stance. He stands erect, and several of his PC Bros enter after him. Before they begin the day’s announcements, they all huddle for the PC Chant.  
“Social Justice, 1,2,3!  
Woo, woo!  
I wanna be PC!  
Woo, woo!  
It’s just the way to be for me! And you!  
Woo, woo!  
Your hateful slurs are through!  
Woo, woo!  
I call woo woo on you!  
Woo, woo!  
We’ll fight until you’re PC black and blue!  
Woo, woo!  
We are language police!  
Fighting bigotry!  
Hurtful words can suck our turds  
Cause it’s PC for ME! And you!  
WOO, WOO!”  
At this, Stan, Kyle, and all of the other students fall silent, and all of the PC Bros go into their congratulations of each other, saying things like “F**k yeah, PC Bro!” over and over again. Then, PC Principal takes a microphone out of his back pocket and turns his full attention to the class.  
“Listen up, class!” he begins. “Today’s schedule is as follows: we’re going on a field trip! Any questions about that?”  
The class is silent for a few seconds more, but then Stan raises his gloved hand, and PC Principal calls on him by way of his last name, Marsh.  
“Where are we going?” Stan asks.  
“I thought nobody would ever ask!” PC Principal said with excitement. “We’re off to the Colorado Scientific Research Facility. They’ve been working real hard on making something for us all to expand our minds on other cultures! Let’s get going!”

ZOOTOPIA:  
As Judy and Nick’s squad car heads off towards the ordered destination, the two partners inside try to fathom what Gazelle, a pop icon and civil rights activist, could have in mind that would require most of the police force to oversee.  
“You think the mob’s on her tail?” Nick asks jokingly as he adjusts the sunglasses on his face.  
“Nick, please,” Judy retorts. “This is a serious matter. Gazelle would know a serious matter when she sees one. Remember how she held that rally back during the Night Howler scandal? Do you understand what she had to go through with the whole thing?”  
“Yeah,” Nick answers, “but I doubt it’s anything like that anymore, Carrots. It’s been a full year.”  
“Well, whatever it is, it could be worth our while,” Judy replies. “All progress for the sake of society is good for us, no matter how small.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick replies quietly, and he holds his tongue as Judy turns on the radio.  
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhhh, Try Everything!” Gazelle’s voice sings.

SOUTH PARK:  
The kids of the elementary school, Stan, Kyle, and all, climb aboard the busses that arrive shortly after PC Principal’s announcement. PC and his Bros take the front seats, and Mr. Mackey, the school counselor, comes aboard himself to lay out the guidelines for the trip.  
“Listen here, children,” Mr. Mackey says to them. “This is our school’s first trip to this science lab, m’kay? Someday, some of you might be working like they do. It’s our obligation to give these nice men and women a good first impression, so you don’t end up having to give out your buns on the street. So let’s just be on our best behavior, m’kay?”  
All of the children are silent as Mr. Mackey takes his seat and the bus begins to move forward.  
To pass the time, Stan decides to sing a song. As he does, the others on the bus begin to sing along. It goes something like this:

Stan:  
The science lab! What discovery!  
The science lab! What all could there be?  
Could it be a laser that is powered by the sun,  
Or something for the Army just to carry all their guns?  
Oh, just what could it be?  
We’ll have to wait and see!

Kyle:  
A science lab! We’re inching towards that place!  
A science lab! I’m smiling on my face!  
Will we see a brand-new hydro-powered telephone?  
If we will, I’d like to simply try it for my own!  
Boy, that’s a dream to me!  
But let’s just wait and see!

Cartman:  
I can’t believe we’re going to some science showy spoof!  
I’d rather be at home stuffing my face with Cheesy Poofs!  
Then sitting on the toilet while I’m reading comic books!  
Instead I’m being dragged to seeing smart, unmarried shnooks  
In lab coats!  
Wait, I just lost my chance to swear!  
AH, GODDAMMIT!

Kenny (muffled):  
At the science lab! Oh, what now will we find?  
The science lab! Something one-of-a-kind!  
It could be a special something to give money to the poor!  
So then my mom and dad would not be fighting anymore!  
And then I would be free!

Butters:  
Well, you said it, not me!

 

PC Principal:  
I wonder how the world around is scienced up today!

Mr. Mackey:  
I hope we see some mighty fine and shining stuff, m’kay?  
That’d be a sight to see!  
But patient we will be!

Kyle:  
Maybe they will demonstrate some rocket-powered shoes!

Cartman:  
Maybe I could find a way to KILL THE F***KING JEWS!

Kyle:  
Hey!

Everybody on the bus:  
We’ll just wait and see!  
But what! All! Could! It!  
Beeeeeeee?

ZOOTOPIA:  
Judy, Nick, and all the other officers in their precinct park their means of transport in front of Gazelle’s mansion, and they stare at the place in awe. The massive house has a fountain sculpted in her image in the entranceway, and the architecture from the outside looks like it came straight out of Ancient Rome, with towering pillars and arched doorways.  
The interior is even more impressive. The carpets and rugs are soft as silk, and the tiles that cover the floors of the kitchen and bathrooms are finely polished stone. In the dining room stands a massive case of musical awards where a china cabinet would normally be. All of the sinks, toilets, and bathtubs in the house are as clean as the day that they were first added to the house, with finishes of luminescent gold upon their spigots and handles. The walls are composed of either the finest wood or the best stone, and when the officers of the ZPD reach the grand staircase leading to the upper floors, they look up to see the great Gazelle herself coming down the steps with two of her tiger dancers by her side… all wearing lab coats and goggles, much to everyone’s surprise.  
“Hello, my loving people!” she calls to the officers as she proceeds towards Chief Bogo.  
“Now, remember,” Bogo says to the officers under his command, “Gazelle is no different from the rest of us here. Yes, she may have certain talents that separate us from her, but that doesn’t make her any-”  
Gazelle then reaches out and shakes Bogo’s hand, at which he gives out a gasp.  
“OH MY GOSH! SHE SHOOK MY HAND! THAT! JUST! HAPPENED!” he shouts in ecstasy. “Oh, I’ll never wash this hand again!”  
Gazelle, smiling, lets out a sigh.  
“If I had a dime for every time this happened, I’d rival King Pup!” she says.  
Everyone laughs, excluding Chief Bogo. This was his first impression with her, and he screwed up big-time. His face wears this feeling like a mask.  
“At any rate, there is no containing my excitement any longer!” Gazelle continues. “As you all can see from my attire, my talents do not exist merely in the art of music! Another passion also occupies my life: science! That is why you are all here today. It is my device I wish to unveil to the world, and I need all of the security I can get! Come!”

SOUTH PARK:  
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and everybody else on the buses file out in front of the Colorado Scientific Research Facility. The complex is spread out over several buildings, all of which are tall and gray. Some have signs for chemical research, some for ballistic research, and still more for pop culture research. The one that the teachers and students are headed towards, however, is the one concerned with the field of quantum physics. As the children are marched through the place, they look around into the many windowed rooms, seeing aging men in lab coats, goggles and rubber gloves, fiddling with machines and equations that the children do not understand now nor will probably understand in their lifetimes.  
“Wow,” Stan says quietly. “These guys have some brains!”  
“Maybe they’re compensating for tiny balls,” Cartman replies before snickering crudely.  
The one leading the group, an old man with a look similar to Albert Einstein, speaks endlessly about the creation their latest invention.  
“With this device…”

ZOOTOPIA:  
“...we will be able to see into worlds beyond our own, worlds we never even imagined!” Gazelle says with enthusiasm as she opens a hidden door behind the tall, rectangular mirror in her lavish bedroom. Although Judy and most of the other officers traveling into the laboratory that revealed itself gain a sense of wonder, Chief Bogo begins to feel a sort of dread, but says nothing…

SOUTH PARK:  
...and so does Mr. Mackey. PC Principal, on the other hand, remains as excited as he was when he first heard of the idea to learn about the effect of otherworldly cultures on the whole of the multiverse.  
“Now see here,” the instructor begins as he takes up the device in question. It looks like a complex laser gun out of a science fiction TV show….

ZOOTOPIA:  
…..and the one in Zootopia appears likewise. Gazelle explains that this pistol creates interdimensional portals wherever one aims it as long as it’s at some sort of solid surface.  
“Observe,” she says as she turns a set of knobs on the side of the gun. She then turns and fires the device at the wall to her right, away from the ZPD officers.  
A white orb of light launches itself from the gun and bursts in a bright flash on the wall, creating a tear in the fabrics of space and time. Beyond this tear lies a gorgeous landscape, with a vibrant rainbow of flowers painting a green meadow with their splendor underneath a blue sky and shining sun. Everybody near the opening of the portal gives a look of amazement at this spectacle.

SOUTH PARK:  
At this point, the instructor just gets done with his spiel about the properties of quantum particles in the weave between the fabrics of space and time, the simplicity of the Copenhagen Interpretation, and the ease by which they figure out the equations needed to hone in on its most useful principles.

ZOOTOPIA:  
“Now, these portals only last for as long as the user of this device wishes them to,” Gazelle says as she presses a button on the back of the gun, removing the portal from existence.  
“Keep in mind, this flower field is not the only destination we have for exploration! With this degree of customization, our destinations are without limitation!” she continues before stopping herself and clearing her throat. “My apologies, everyone. I am still a musician, you know.”  
Everyone smiles, both at her ability to create such a long rhyme and her incorporation of the two parts of her life into one moment. No apology was necessary.  
“So, for one time more,” she says as she prepares to adjust the dials for another test, “you shall witness the power of…”

SOUTH PARK:  
“...science!” the instructor says as he preps the dials on the gun for its first test ever conducted. The dials are set to “ZTA26464.”

ZOOTOPIA:  
Gazelle sets the dials on her invention to “SPK49285.” She turns….

SOUTH PARK:  
...and fires.  
Suddenly, the wall that the gun was pointed towards begins to quiver with the apparent consistency of gelatin….

ZOOTOPIA:  
….as red lights begin to form out of the place where the portal had landed. Then these lights begin to take the form of fiery bolts that shoot across the room and into lab equipment, much to everybody’s horror, but especially Gazelle’s.  
“What in the world-” she begins before realizing that time is limited.  
She turns towards everyone, a look of doom plastered on her visage.  
“We need to leave!” she shouts.

SOUTH PARK:  
“NOW!” The children and teachers, following the director’s instructions, dart out of the building alongside him as quickly as their walk cycles can let them. They all continue running with all of their endurance….

ZOOTOPIA:  
…..and so do Gazelle, her tigers, Judy, Nick, and the rest of the visiting officers….

 

SOUTHTOPIA:  
….just as a massive quantum shockwave rocks both worlds, knocking everyone off of their feet and erasing both the mansion and the research building from existence.  
The winds spread themselves over both respective worlds to a range of about 500 feet, give or take about 5 centimeters. Luckily, no major parts of any city is harmed by the blast, and neither is anybody involved in the incident and retreat.  
As soon as her long ears stop ringing, Judy Hopps sits up, holding her head and clutching her chest. She looks back at where the mansion once stood, only to see something that causes her mouth to drop open in both amazement and horror.  
Stan Marsh finds himself on the ground, surrounded by rubble and his terrified, shaking classmates, as well as the teachers, with Mr. Mackey in particularly dire need of a change of pants. He hesitates to see what could be left of the building that both he and many others abandoned, but he eventually gains the stomach to do so, and what he sees causes his eyes and mouth to open wide. He uses his elbow to bump Cartman, who lies next to him and upon sitting up, bumps Kenny, who then bumps Kyle, who then bumps Butters, who then tries to bump somebody, only to swing his elbow through the air.  
“Aw, butt-nuggets!” Butters says, disappointed, before looking at the spectacle that Stan and the others witness and gaining a face just like each of theirs.  
Before long, everybody involved in the disaster that shook both realities, including Gazelle and the director of quantum research, who each still hold their portal devices tightly in their grasps, stand to find themselves staring at the same thing: a completely different world, with a large, shimmering outline marking the places where both buildings once stood.  
From Zootopia’s side, Judy, Nick, and the others see a world that looks shockingly flat, like a shoebox diorama that one would make with construction paper in the third grade. However, unlike the ones that they would make in their own childhoods, the creatures within are not like any mammal they’ve ever seen before. These creatures have skin that is nearly completely devoid of fur, with colors ranging from light peach to dark brown. The only thing that could be described as fur, if that’s what you could call it, rest on the tops of their heads, colored brown, black, red, and many others. Their eyes are round, and at that moment, so are their mouths, giving the appearance that these alien creatures are every bit as surprised to see the world of Zootopia as they are to see the world off…..whatever these strange things call it.  
From South Park’s side, the students, teachers, and director see a world that is constructed unlike any they could have ever imagined. The clouds in its blue sky separated and flowed through the air beauifully, creating a wide array of shapes. Sunlight spread itself intricately over every surface they could see in that world, making bends in the the shadows that they produced together. Everything in the world beyond the massive tear looks as though someone who is watching a movie set in that world could reach out, grab something, and feel its texture between his or her fingers, from the grass of the earth, to the puddles of water on the ground… to the fur of its citizens. That’s what makes the people on the other side of the divide new to the South-Parkans: they are all anthropomorphic animals. Two of them, for example, are what look like a rabbit and a fox, the former being about half as tall as the latter. Around them are other, much larger animals, including wolves, tigers, a cheetah, a gazelle, and a Cape buffalo. They all wear police uniforms, except for the gazelle and two of the tigers, who wear lab coats and goggles. They all stare back at them with a look of common shock between them.  
The people on each side of the divide stare at those on the other for five minutes that felt like centuries, with nobody doing anything other than staring.  
Well, they also blink from time to time. Sight is painful without some level of darkness.  
Wow, that was way too wordy.  
Finally, a voice on one side rings out to the opposite side.  
“Uhhhh….. hi,” Nick Wilde calls to the people of South Park.


End file.
